Happy Free Confused and Lonely

Okay, this blog has been very badly neglected. I don't have a great excuse either. Fortunately I have some great (naggy) friends to keep me in line. So I will try to do better.

I feel like I probably have a lot that I should write on this since it's been so long, but I don't really know what to say. So this might be a little scattered.

I was going to write a semi-depressing post about how stressed I am with school and life in general, or about how I have been more homesick the last 3-4 weeks than I think I ever have been while going to school out here. But then, I listened to Red (Taylor Swift's new album), and she came through for me like she always does. Her song "22" is nothing deeply moving or thought provoking, but it's perfect. And it was perfect for changing the way this post is going to go and they way I feel about life right now. If you haven't listened to it, here is a little taste for you (also go listen to it!). 

"It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters
And make fun of our exes
It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight
To fall in love with strangers
We're happy free confused and lonely at the same time
It's miserable and magical Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines, it's time 
I don't know about you but I'm feeling 22
Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you
You don't know about me but I bet you want to
Everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we're 22
It seems like one of those nightsThis place is too crowded too many cool kids
It seems like one of those nights
We ditch the whole scene and end up dreaming instead of sleeping
We're happy free confused and lonely in the best way
It's miserable and magical 
Tonight's the night when we forget about the heartbreaks, it's time 
It feels like one of those nights
We ditch the whole scene
It feels like one of those nights
We won't be sleeping"

Obviously, I'm not quite 22, but that's beside the point. It's mostly just a fun party song and it reminds me of my life right now. Sometimes I am a serious student and want to cry about everything that's expected of me, and sometimes we ditch the whole scene, make breakfast (or have pizza) at midnight, forget about the deadlines, and dance like we're 22. Despite the studying and the homework and the homesickness and the non-stop schedule and the fears about my future, I just absolutely love my life right now. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in being a responsible adult that I forget that I'm 20 years old and allowed (and expected) to have a good time. And when I do remember that, then we have some pretty good times. I have realized that I have to enjoy every moment right now, because this part of my life is almost over. In 6 short months I will be graduating from SVU and leaving this town and most of these great people, so why wouldn't I enjoy it while I'm here? I think I had this same realization my senior year of high school. As much as I was more than ready to graduate, I decided that it was silly to wish that time away, and instead I partied it up with my friends and made the most of that last year. Do I wish I was back in high school? No. But I am so glad that I made the most of that last year and made some great memories so that I can look back on it and smile rather than regret just waiting for it to be over. Which is what I am trying to do now. I have to fill my tank with great college experiences before it's over and all I have left are the memories. So far I think I am doing a pretty good job of that. Granted, we don't do lots of crazy fun stuff, but watching a movie, or baking, or taking a little road trip to get Taylor's new CD, or running around campus trying to pull together a fun Homecoming are the kinds of simple things that might not sound like anything special, but for me, with the right people, they really are. 

I'm doing pretty well in my classes right now. I'm super busy with senate and committee meetings; which I secretly love. I just finished my fall season of tennis, loved every second of it, and can't wait for spring. I have made some great new friends. I can't step outside right now without being blown away for the millioneth time with how beautiful this place is. I get to see my family in 23 days. I'm  teaching my second Sunday school lesson on Sunday. And it's pumpkin pie blizzard season at Dairy Queen. 

Mostly life is just wonderful and I am trying to savor every moment. I have a lot on my plate and things get a little hectic sometimes, but I am just going to keep dancing like I'm 22 (or 20).