"I'll Never Let You Go"

Do you know what sucks? Losing people. I'm not so much talking about losing them in the sense that you never see or hear from them again; just having to say goodbye because they aren't going to be right there with you anymore. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I've realized that, apart from your spouse, (hopefully) you eventually have to tell everyone in your life goodbye for an extended amount of time, if not, forever. It's a really rude fact of life. Throughout our 12 years of public schooling, we work to find our niche and what people we fit in with. After trying out many different groups, dealing with some backstabbing, and having the inevitable growing up and growing apart, we finally find the ones that we work perfectly with. And then, just when you think your friend situation couldn't possibly get any better, and you are closer with your family than you ever have been; you graduate. Everyone goes their separate ways and you are stuck with phones, computers, and the occasional, short-lived, best friend reunion at Christmas to keep your friendship going strong. In the meantime, the same process is starting while at college. You find your niche there and the people that you can be yourself around, just in time for another graduation. While it's nice to make plans to be neighbors forever, deep down we know it's not realistic. Then you get married and settle down in a nice little neighborhood. You find some good friends in your neighbors and enjoy spending time with them; until your job moves you across the country. I feel like it's a never-ending process. You get comfortable with a group of people and then are forced to say goodbye and start over again. There are some pros to this little cycle but, in all honesty, I am not a big fan of it. I can deal with change - a lot of times I even welcome it - but I really hate this kind of change. For me, it takes time to be totally comfortable and myself around people. I hate that I can't just do that once and then have those people that know me so well right next door to me forever. Unfortunately, that's not an option. So, I will continue to be determined to maintain my wonderful friendships in any way that I can. I absolutely cannot stand to think about losing the people in my life that I love so much, and who know everything about me and, somehow, still love me too.

"I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose

Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose.....

But I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories."