Oh Shenandoah...

Well kids, this is it.  Tomorrow morning I graduate from college.  It is honestly so surreal. I never thought this day would ever come.  It has been one of those things that I hoped would happen, but it seemed so far down the road that to have it be happening tomorrow doesn't seem real. I have been so blessed to be able to go to school at Southern Virginia. I wouldn't trade it for the world. It took me a long time to decide on a school, but I know without a doubt that I picked the right one. I love the person that this university has turned me into. I have grown in so many ways here. Way beyond academics. The experiences that this school has given me are incredible and once in a lifetime.  I really could never adequately express the love I have for this school and how beyond grateful I am for the last three years.

This weekend is full of mixed emotions for me. This is such a major part of my life that I have worked so hard to get to, and I am thrilled that I finally made it.  I pushed through all of the work that sometimes felt near impossible, and managed to come out with a pretty good GPA. I can't lie, I am proud of the accomplishments that I will be celebrating tomorrow. At the same time, my heart hurts every time I think about leaving this place. Leaving not only SVU, but Buena Vista, the whole state of Virginia, and really the whole east coast. I am so in love with this place. So in love. I am also in love with the people here. From my very best friends, to my incredible professors and administrators, to the Buena Vista locals that I don't even know. I love them all.

When I left home three years ago, I cried and cried. Saying goodbye to my home, and my friends, and my family was so hard. This time is so much harder. I am leaving home again, but this time I'm not leaving with the comfort of knowing that I will be back in four months and everything will be (for the most part) as I left it. This time, I don't have any idea when I will be back. But I know it won't be the same. When I left home before, I knew that I would be seeing my family and friends again in four months as well. This time I am leaving people who have become my family, and I may never see them again. And that breaks my heart. But this is life. And it's wonderful and terrifying and beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time.

This place and these people have my heart, and have definitely changed me for the better. I am so blessed.

Boston Strong

Okay. Obviously it has been a little while since I was on here. I think I got overwhelmed by my Thanksgiving idea and so I just stopped blogging completely. But I am back. And while there are probably plenty of things that I should update you on, that's not what I want to do right now. There are some other things on my mind.

This last week has been an emotional roller coaster for me, as I know it has been for the majority of Americans. I am already emotionally on edge because I am graduating in a week (which I will talk about in a later post), but the events of this week definitely magnified that.

The week started last Sunday with a forest fire burning my beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains, mere miles from the houses of the people of Buena Vista.  Way too close for comfort. Fortunately, the fire was burning up the mountain rather than down; and the quick actions of local fire departments, and the blessing of rain that night, protected anyone from being hurt or even evacuated. Despite it being taken care of fairly quickly, and no real damage occurring; it shook me a little bit. I wasn't in any real danger at my house, but as I drove around the hillside the next morning, I saw how close the fire came to the homes on the other side of town from me. It scared me to think what could have happened, but I was so grateful that everything turned out okay. 

And then Monday happened. I immediately felt sick when I found out what had happened, and that feeling hasn't left me since. For some reason, this terrible act of violence affected me more than any other has.  I'm not sure why exactly, but I think it is a combination of me being old enough to really understand the significance of something like this, and the weird connection that I have to the city of Boston. For some reason, I have always felt like Boston was my city. I lived about 45 miles outside of Boston for a few years when I was really young, but since then I have only been to Boston once. Despite that, and the fact that I was born and raised over 2,500 miles away, I feel like I'm a Bostonian at heart. Because of this weird connection I feel with the city, the tragedies that occurred in Boston this week really hit home for me. It probably also had something to do with the fact that I am a lot closer physically to Boston than I ever have been to something like this. The whole thing just felt very close and very real. Every time I watch another news clip of the explosion, I can't believe it really happened. And I can't help but put myself in the place of those people who were right there at the finish line when it happened. It's terrifying. And sickening. And heart breaking. 

And then the light in the darkness. The people. The wonderful, wonderful people. I can't get enough of the stories of heroism that have happened over the last few days. It's amazing how I can be blown away by the pure evil of some people while simultaneously being blown away by the pure love and selflessness of others. And the good definitely outnumber the bad. I am amazed by the citizens who ran to give help to the fallen, by the marathoners who kept running to hospitals to give blood, by the EMTs and First Responders, by the doctors and nurses, by the policemen, SWAT team members, and FBI agents who would stop at nothing to find the people responsible, by the man who called 911 after finding Tsarnaev in his boat, and by the resilience and strength of the people of Boston. The American spirit can't be broken. 

My heart is breaking for those people that were impacted by this senseless act of terrorism. My heart is also breaking for the state that our world is in right now. It's terrifying that tragedies like this are a part of our lives, and that people like the Tsarnaev brothers exist. However, it's comforting to know that amid these tragedies, people will emerge who are willing to do and give everything to help make it better. This last week my eyes have been opened once again to the evil that exists in our world, but also to the much more numerous amounts of good that exists in our world. 

Besides the comfort that can come from the good of people in the world, the greatest comfort can come from knowing that God is over all. As President Uchtdorf said in his inspired talk just two weeks ago, 

"...Understand and accept that darkness exists, but [don't] dwell there... There may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God's light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things. It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn." 

This talk was not coincidence.

Pray for Boston.